FRANKFURT (AP) - Former Formula One world champion Michael Schumacher has reportedly signed a one-year deal to drive for Mercedes in 2010.
On Monday Mercedes announced that Malaysian state oil and gas company Petronas will be title sponsor of the Mercedes Formula One team next season, Mercedes announced yesterday
On Wednesday German newspaper Bild said that Schumacher, the seven-time champion, who retired in 2006, signed the deal at the team's offices in Brackley, England, on Tuesday.
Schumacher, a former Ferrari driver, has been heavily linked with a move to the former Brawn GP team, which won last year's drivers' and constructors' titles.
The 40-year-old German driver attempted a brief return in August to replace injured Ferrari driver Felipe Massa but a serious neck injury kept him from driving.
Tuesday July 21, 2009 Woman stabs hubby for coming home late Other News & Views
A WIFE stabbed her husband in a rage after he came home late from the friendly match between Manchester United and the Malaysian team on Saturday, reported Harian Metro.
The husband had initially promised his wife to be home by around 7pm after the match, but he only came back at 2am.
As soon as he came home, the 20 something couple, began arguing.
It is understood that the wife stabbed her husband in the chest with a vegetable knife after she could no longer control her temper.
However, she panicked on seeing her husband convered in blood and quickly sent him to the hospital.
Police have detained the wife and seized the weapon.
Ampang OCPD Asst Comm Abd Jalil Hassan said the 26-year-old self-employed victim was currently in critical condition.
“The woman claims she was provoked by her husband coming home late,” he said.
Phase 1: You are listening to jazz Your first day at work is great. Your co-workers are wonderful, your office is cute, you love your boss, and your President is the best!
Phase 2: You are listening to pop music After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you're coming or going anymore.
Phase 3: You are listening to heavy metal This is what happens after about SIX Months!
Phase 4: You are listening to hip hop You become bloated due to stress, you're gaining weight due to lack of exercise because you are so tired and have so much work to do and when you get home you have more work to do. You feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your fellow co-workers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in.
Phase 5: You are listening to GANGSTA RAP After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a 'good hair day' feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.
Phase 6: You are listening to the voices in your head!!! You have locked the office door to keep people out, you wonder WHY you are even here in the first place and WHY did I come to work today!
Happiness keeps you sweet, Trials keeps you strong, Sorrow keeps you human, Failure keeps you humble, Success keeps you glowing, But only God keeps you going!!!
Customer:Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:No,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support:Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:Your left or my left?
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Customer:Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer:I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:Do you have a colour printer?
Customer:Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support:What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
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Tech support:Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer:Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer:can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:Five stars.
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Tech support:What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support:That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer:I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support:How may I help you?
Customer:I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:Are you running it under windows?
Customer:'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And last but not least...
Tech support:'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
FRANKFURT (AP) - Former Formula One world champion Michael Schumacher has reportedly signed a one-year deal to drive for Mercedes in 2010. 
