Just one thing

If You knew that's the outcome,
why am I thinking about it so much?

If You knew that's the answer,
why am I still so persistent about it so much?

Why, why, & why?

If I sit there I am not doing my part,
If I move, be prepare to "shatter".

Alright I might be broken a lot times already,
You healed my brokenness countless times,
being stronger & stronger day by day from the brokenness,
& You knew I able to face it,
so that's why You let it happen?

So I guess I am stronger now?

What is so good about being so strong?
but You already knew it's going to shatter my heart again.

I am so tired of it You know?
How many times You want me to be shatter,
again and again and again?
I fear that one day my heart will be so hard,
that my heart can't be shatter again,
it's good or bad?

You tell me...

It's another phase of life that You want me to go through?
so that I am prepare for Your plan in my life?
I am so clueless about it?

How much more I had to go?
Should I just stop here & get caught with the busyness in my life?
So that I can't 'avoid' from being shatter again...

What I am suppose to do now?
I'm sorry if I hurt You,
I'm not perfect,
I'm still human You know...

Well I guess I can complain day and night,
but at the end You know what best for me right?

Just one thing, just...

don't ever let me slip away from You...
because that will really destroy me completely...

Haih...I guess I better go sleep now,
& tomorrow will be another new day.

Gosh, I should just stop thinking too much.

Thank You Lord,
I am done with my complaining.

p/s: sorry larh tengah emo status now... now worries I will be alright... hehe